Man the years are TICKING by. Here we are already with 3 ‘best of’ lists, ‘08, ‘09 and now ‘10. What an amazing year of learning…and that is about as precise an adjective I can apply to this year in both cycling and in life. Leaving paying jobs for non-paying ones, breaking bones, struggling to do well in the sport I love…it was an amazing year. So let me recount some of the best things that occurred and experienced this year. Keepin’ it positive, yo.

Best New Race – Aspen Lodge CX by DBC Events!

What an INCREDIBLY fun race and amazing venue. Chris Grealish and Joe DePaemelaere put on what I thought was one of the most fun, scenic and festive races of the year. People balked at the courses ‘technical’ features which were, in my opinion, PERFECT. This was a course that made you have to be focused and attentive 100% of the time and ensured that the best were those that know how to drive their bike!

(Photo by Mountain Moon Photography)

Best Race That I Raced – CrossVegas

Ironically, one of my first races of the season was my best. I’d worked REALLY hard since the summer to get into some sort of shape. I was nervous as hell to crash and hear that clavicle go “snap!’ again but so deeply stoked to be on the bike and with my buds. I think I took an 8th place out of ~160 so people, about 40 of whom wanted to be tops at the race. The victory was that I felt a ‘good suffering’…that kind where you could go deep deep deep but knew you were going to improve over the coming weeks.

I am so looking forward to another Cross Vegas. I love the camaraderie and it is great to get amped up for our seasons with all your friends from around the country. Glad to see Brook Watts will be launching the event again in 2011.

Best Training or Racing Aid – Motopacing with the Good Doctor, Coach Frank!

Frank is truly one of the good guys of the sport. The smile that he is constantly emanating is contagious and reminds you when you walk into his Training Center that you are there to improve your life. He’s smiling cause he knows what you’re about to achieve…and maybe a little smile at the suffering you’ll have to go through to get there. Frank was there offering a hand the week after I crashed this year and built up my confidence again by telling me ‘you’ll be fast again and I’m going to help you get there after all this…’ Frank assembled a great plan to build upon week after week to re-assemble fitness essentially starting from mid August. One of the tools used was motorpacing which was hard, fun and absolutely essential to build up leg speed and the ability to sustain thresholds and keep them there…essential to be able to be with the wheels of a Ward Baker, Michael Robson and Timmy Faia. So much fun and if you can do it, and know when to add it to your training plan at the right time, I recommend it:

Best Food of 2010 – Tie: Session Black Ale and Justin’s Almond Nut Butter

Tough choice so I had to give them a tie. What tasty discoveries this year. First, I am a sucker for anything dark and bubbly and when I saw these little hand-grenade sized 11oz bottles of goodness, I gave ‘em a try. Not a porter yet not a brown. It is a true black ale which is pretty smooth and creamy with a smoky sort of taste. The new fave.

As it relates to racing nutrition, I will have to say that I was blown away with the Justin’s products. Specifically the Almond Butter but they are honestly ALL unbelievably good. I like the consistency and taste of Justin’s for super long rides. It’s real protein and I like the feeling it has in my stomach…which translated means it doesn’t tear me apart. I just wish their packet-sized versions contained a little more!

Best Product I Tried This Year – Northwest Knee Warmers Embrocation

OK, seriously, how many times in your racing past have you applied embro only to have you actually feel it 4 hours later when you are in the shower? Yeah, me too. That is until I sourced some NorthWest Knee Warmers, Medium Strength. The product is made by Kalli Phillips in the cross Mecca of Portland. She’s a licensed naturopathic physician who has a strong acumen of herbal medicines and blending them appropriately. It’s made in small batches by hand, roughly 40 tins at a time and costs about $19 a tin. One tin lasted me about 1/2 a season. I highly recommend medium strength to start with as it is pretty hot! You will feel it upon application and while racing…the first embro I’ve used to TRULY perform in the way I thought embro was supposed to. Amazing product.

Best Picture I Took – Dubba at the Boulder Rez

Funny enough but this was a year where I wasn’t hammering the shutter too often. But one picture I snapped I seem to look at quite often. I like the dust going on in the race as well as Brandon’s focus. This was the UCI race at the Boulder Reservoir:

Best Picture Someone Took of Me Us! – Any photos by Annette of Mountain Moon Photography!

We have TONS of mad photographers in Colorado shooting cyclists each season, but the award for the most passionate goes to Annette. She shoots ALL DAY, as many categories as she can to make us all feel ‘pro’. Moreover, the quality of her pictures is spectacular, with little or no post processing…just the natural light and glass to provide all the effect you’ll need to remember your races. Lastly, she does this out of love, with  2 pictures for $5. Amazing. We appreciate you being out there in the cold, rain, mud and snow, Annette!

Best of the Best of 2010 – Life Happens…that’s what’s the best.

So much to be thankful for. So much to remember. So much to look forward to. Visually speaking, these were just some of the BEST things of 2010…

I broke my clavicle and learned to be completely humble about my life, my needs, what’s important and what I love.

I left a perfectly good paying job…probably the best gig in Boulder…to not get paid and start my own company with my good bud John Bliss…in a recession. So, shoot more video and use my apps when they launch soon!

(Photo by Neal Rogers)

My oldest son Aiden started racing ‘cross! I’ve never experienced such a confidence boost in a person, old or young, as I did with Aiden this year. Amazing to see and so much fun.

The Ridley X-Fire. Amazing geometry, weight and versatility of this new bike by an even more incredible sponsor to Boulder Cycle Sport: Ridley Bikes. I like to call the bike’s positioning and geometry “fast forward” – weight over the front wheel with the rider more ‘forward’ on the bike. You’ll understand the feeling should you get to drive one. And please try to drive one.

That’s all folks! I wish you all a massively successful 2011…however you define success. And that is fundamentally the fun part.

Hup hup!

I guess the word to use by this point is something like ‘rampage.’ As in: “Pete Webber is on a RAMPAGE in the lowlands this season, chalking up his 3rd win in as many tries.” This recent win comes to him against some stiff competition, including the reigning Dutch Masters National Champion. The rest, I’ll leave up to Webber to bring us up to speed on as we all try to live vicariously through his exploits…

Za Webber Trip
Vorden Race Report

I want to start today's blog with a big "Thank You" to everyone who's been encouraging me. The emails and Facebook comments are totally great! I'm very lucky and fortunate to have such great friends and family.
Today we made a long haul to the Netherlands for a Wednesday race. A cool thing about the holiday season over here is mid-week racing. The top elite riders get a bunch of mid-week races between Christmas and New Year's Day in Belgium, but there are fewer options for Masters. Last year I raced an event in the Netherlands and it was awesome. Very PRO, great riders, great atmosphere. So this year I was looking forward to a return trip to try the "Castle Cross Vorden," even if it meant a 3.5 hour drive each way. Local racers here would never dream of such a long drive for a race, they seldom look more than 1 or 2 hours from home. But I'm here for 'cross, and cross-border adventures just add to the fun.

Our day started with a 5:30 wake up to hit the road by 6 for an 11:30 race. Straight east, past Gent, Antwerp, across the border, past Eindhoven and finally to Vorden, not far from Germany. As is usual this time of the year, the sun doesn't fully rise until about 9 am. That equals 3 hours driving in freezing rain before sunrise. Not exactly the best race-day prep. But over the years I've figured out that my 2-hour pre-race routine will get me to the start line no matter time of day, amount of sleep, or crazy weather conditions. For me, the important thing is to just execute the routine.

I had read on the web that the recent snow and some freeze/thaw had put the race into jeopardy. Thankfully the local community rallied with tractors and shovels to clear the heavy, crusty snow from the entire loop. In most places, that left only a singletrack-width race track. The snow to the side was widely variable. Sometimes unridable crust, other times just heavy wet stuff. They did a really excellent job and the road sections combined with some creativity provided enough passing. The terrain was very flat, maybe a couple 3-4 foot 'hills', but otherwise just twisty turns and power slogs. The ground was not frozen, so there was also wheel-sucking mud and boggy grass, followed by icy turns in the shade. No dismounts at all. Flat, heavy courses are often the hardest since cornering, accelerations, and simple pure power are required. Adding to the challenge was a dicey corner right on the bank of a muddy canal and a heavy stench of fresh manure.
With 4 laps pre-ride, some practice starts, and a Clif Shot I worked the cobwebs out. The A-Team pit crew of Sally and Ella had my Rhinos at 22 psi and hit my pedals and shoes with some de-icer spray. I was ready to roll.

The start/finish pavement was icy in spots, so the organizers had decided to shorten the start straight to only 25 meters before a turn into the singletrack in order to prevent high-speed crashes. This, combined with the large amount of singletrack convinced me to approach the officials before the race and beg for a better call up than the last row normally given to internationals. They actually listened to me and invited me to line up first! Unfortunately I didn't know this was going to happen, and I missed them call my name in the string of Dutch. Fortunately, another rider clued me in and I made it to second row. The one race I get called up, and I miss it! Duh! There wasn't long to dwell on this hiccup however, as the rider next to me on the grid gave me a back-slap and said "Let's go Mud and Cowbells hey!" The spirit of Za Keller is everywhere! I laughed and was psyched!

We sprinted away from the line and were instantly into the woods. Total chaos as everyone tried for one line. I ran and elbowed and took a shoulder or two before I settled in about 15th place. After a minute to get my wind back, I set myself to the daunting task of moving up. It took two frantic laps of aggressive passes and capitalizing on each opening before I made the front group of 3. I sat with these guys for another lap until I felt I like had the legs and the cornering speed to attack. I went full gas for the next two laps and took the lead with 5 to 10 seconds of daylight. The second place rider was wearing the Dutch champion's kit, so I knew there would be no giving up. He pressed me the whole distance. And with about 50 slippery opportunities on each lap to make a mistake, I worked hard to stay smooth and focused. Cross-eyed and gasping, I was completely at my limit when the finish line finally arrived. I raised my arms for a very grateful victory.

Some of my pics

		Vorden VIEW SLIDE SHOW DOWNLOAD ALL

Some additional photos by local photographers:

The start: http://www.robsfotoshop.nl/index.php/fotos?view=album&album=5556210069495287249&page=5
The first turn chaos: http://www.robsfotoshop.nl/index.php/fotos?view=album&album=5556210069495287249&page=5
The finish: http://www.robsfotoshop.nl/index.php/fotos?view=album&album=5556210069495287249&page=9
The results: http://www.wielerland.nl/index.php?option=com_database&c=u&sc=1&id=23651&Itemid=242

Check this video of the 15-16 year old juniors. These kids are very impressive:

I think that the Belgian gambling mafia is on to Mr. Webber as he continues to demonstrate that the Americans take the sport we all love VERY seriously. He by this point is completely screwing with the odds. Pete pulled off yet another win on Belgian soil, this time in Balegem. Have a read and a view of the photo essay…

Za Webber Trip: Balegem Race Report

The Balegem circuit is great, and the atmosphere is even better. I raced here last year, and was really excited to return to this icon of the Flemish Cup. It is situated around a cafe, a farm and a forest in the countryside outside the village of Balegem, just 20 minutes from our base in Oudenaarde. The cafe - The Feestzaal Steenput - is well-known and managed by former Tour De France rider Rudy Colman.  Although I have not done many Belgian races, I think Balegem defines the awesomeness of grassroots Belgian cyclocross. All the elements are in place, and the result is simply a thing of beauty. Sally and Heidi Vandermoere did a wonderful job snapping photos, and I'll let those images tell the story. Check out my 1-minute video of the 17-18 junior race here:

And now for the Balegem photo essay:

I Love Veldrijden (Cyclocross)

There are 21 races in the Vlaamse Cup, all within about a 1 hour radius. This year, Balegem also served as the Provincial Championships for East Flanders

The cafe Feestzaal Steenput is also race headquarters. Inside is registration, rider's changing area, and of course food and drink.

Registration is very professional and efficient. No paperwork needed. The first official scans your bar code, you sign next to your assigned number, pay a couple euros, and collect your number.

The numbers are re-usable. Return it after the race and get a deposit back.

Bike racing is a family activity and part of a healthy lifestyle ;-}

Vans, campers, sprinters, and all sorts of customized rigs are essential when dealing with the frequently horrible conditions.

Every racer has a couple of mechanics, helpers and plenty of supporters.

Like the cars, bikes are new. While cars tend to be shades of gray, white is the most popular shade for fiets.

The spectators gather at the technical steeps. I'm guessing that plenty of them walked from home.

This gentleman is a local legend and races every weekend. I talked with him after the race and we traded stories. He has ridden Mont Ventoux over 100 times and toured from Belgium to Moscow this summer. The fellow in the background looks like he's been to a few races as well.

Ella loves bringing my spare bike to the pit and often insists on holding it during the race too.

The rider's changing area is full of interesting rituals. In this photo, a rider has arranged his gear very precisely for his post race clean up.

Steep drops and deep ruts are the crux at Balegem. There are 3 of these drops in a row.

The Jenever (Dutch gin) vendor is ready to provide both types of warmth for his customers.

A discerning spectator.

Mini-supporter ready for the afternoon.

Now for some racing action. Choose a rut and stay in it.

Mario and I take different lines on the run-up. Neither one provided much traction.

Horsepower.

Cornering.

Mario focused on the task.

I'm in full attack mode, trying to gain time on this long power climb.

Victory. The newspaper Het Laaste Niews (The Latest News) is the title sponsor of the race series and countless other bike races over the decades.

Flowers are essential.

Family and friends.

Our van was easy to find ... behind the cafe, beside the chicken coop at the base of the climb.

Bike washing station.

The results.

Post-race cold beer and hot soup in the cafe.

Fresh off his National Championship win in the 40-44 Masters group…oh, and a top 20 in the Elite race the next day!…Pete Webber is back in Belgium and already up to his antics. Pete, wife Sally and daughter Ella are braving the massive cold and snow front bringing Europe to a grinding halt for their second year running. The best part of it all is that 365 days later, I swear there is a “Supporters Club Webber” over there now, including one of the true ‘good guys’ of the sport, Mario Lammens…the current Belgian Master’s National Champion in Pete’s Age group. These guys couldn't wait to get into battle with one another…as evidenced by their loving Facebook exchanges.

I LOVE it! Such great sportsmanship and it is awesome to see how this sport is making such great friends and sporting rivalries. It’s the way it should be!

And without further adieu, let me let Pete take over the keyboard and tell you about his first race back in…Za Motherland!

Za Webber Trip 2010
Christmas Cross at Beernem

Racing on Christmas day? Only in Belgium!

Today I tackled my first race of this winter's Belgian adventure, and it was a proper snowy Christmas cross.
To back up a bit, I am at the start of a month-long Belgian cross adventure. Following the path of last year's "Za Webber Trip" to za motherland of cross, I am extending the USA race season by visiting Belgium with my wife Sally and 8-year-old daughter Ella for an immersion in Flemish culture, food, beer, cobbles, and cross. The family will stay for the first two weeks, and then I'll be joined by a group of notorious racing buddies for two more weeks. Stay tuned here and on FB for regular updates thru out the month!

Now to race report #1. I did this same Flemish Cup event in Beernem last year, and was lucky to take a win after masters World Champ Marc Druyts missed a step on the last run-up, an incredibly steep muddy wall. Needless to say, I was a bit nervous and excited to attempt a defense. Epic packing, travel, jet lag, German autobans, and wintery conditions were having me feel beat up, but a memorable string of Colorado races plus good results at Nationals created some confidence too.

The Beernem course is difficult to describe. Let's just say it has a bit of everything: grass, ice, snow, mud, singletrack, bike path, roads, alleys, driveways, cobbles, and most importantly, crazy technical steep rutted ups and downs. As is typical for smaller events like this, the course was not wide UCI style, instead it is totally fun jungle cross and lightly marked.

No call up at the start line since I have no points here, but today's field was very small, only 3-rows deep for my age group. I had a good start and hit the first turn in about 5th place. Belgian legend and all-around good guy Mario Lammens took the hole-shot and was riding very well. For about five minutes he had a small gap off the front, but our group thankfully closed it down before the first lap was complete.
The crux of this track are a series of four technical drops followed by four steep climbs. Two of the climbs are ridable if you hit them perfectly, and two are impossibly steep, with deep foot-holds. There was a lot of super fun twisty singletrack, but each section was short and plenty of places to pass. A few minutes of each lap were on hard-packed snow or ice. You had to stay smooth and not touch the brakes at all or else you'd be down in a split second. Fortunately, the steep stuff was not too icy.

As the race progressed, I figured out how to tackle the technical stuff and what to do on the steep run-ups. The trick was to really carry your speed, dismount without slowing down, and then stay focused on finding those essential foot-holds. The lead group was down to 3: Mario, an Italian rider, and myself.  With two laps to go, I punched it going into the trees and nailed the run-ups. A five-second gap opened up and I kept the pressure on for a whole lap. The gap grew to 20 seconds and I rode the last lap all alone, keeping the hammer down. A fun Christmas win.

Tomorrow's another race at Balegem, just 20 minutes down the road. My bikes are washed, gear packed, and a delicious Belgian pastry is waiting for dessert.

Thanks for reading!

I’m old. And yeah, yeah yeah, your retort to that is: “Age is only a state of mind!” And indeed it is…a state of mind that requires planning and moderation as it relates to getting fitter and staying fit in a long season.

I learned a lot about my aging body this season…much of the knowledge coming at the expense of pressuring myself to get fit again after injuries and doubling up the workload to “hurry up” by putting in additional training I thought I needed. I’d respond to training…then felt mentally that “you can do more…” At the end of the day, I want to be trading paint and laughing it up with my friends every weekend not trying to look WAY ahead in the dusty haze imagining what life is like at the front of the race. So it’s easy to let the head run away with its thoughts to convince you to ‘do more’ and in doing so ‘taking away’ a lot.

So what I sort of learned and experienced this past year about my body, its needs and other ‘feelings’ and ‘sensations’ (in no order) is as follows. I’m sort of thinking out loud here so bear with me…

• “Less is more.” While I had no base to dip into this season, I tried to triple up and hurt myself to feel I was sharp. Problem is, doing that is paramount to the scene in The Hunt for Red October when the sub shoots a torpedo and it comes back to blow themselves up. “You killed us you idiot!” in other words. Relying on the race-yourself-into-shape paradigm…and no more than that….should be the rule of the day in situations like I faced. For many of us old guys, the years of racing is in the legs already. We need to trust it and ‘stoke’ the fires back up in the legs and head gracefully, not radically by trying to pour more on.
• “Listen to the body.” A good friend of mine, Mark Howland, has told me that his experience in being successful as a master is 100% related to listening to your needs. We are not the spry youths who can do 20hr weeks any longer. We need to be smarter and listen to what is needed. Strip away unneeded intervals and other activities that burn matches and save them for the efforts needed while racing. Eat well, sleep well and train well by doing the important stuff but listen to when your body tells you that “the 5th set of intervals really isn't going to do anything. Go home and chill.”
• “Leg-load”. I experienced this odd sensation this fall which was that my legs pretty much always felt ‘swollen’. After a tough race weekend or hard training, it could take 4-5 DAYS until I felt good again…e.g. good enough that I could do work on the bike and feel it was adding value, not subtracting and my legs felt fully recovered and sinewy again. Imagine having legs that feel they’re filled 2x with blood and lactate…even after you wake up from a good night of sleep. Massage moderately helped but LOTS of time off seemed to be the best cure.
• “If you’re not hungry, don't eat.” I mean this metaphorically as I do literally. Metaphorically I mean that I would race even though I knew I had nothing in the head or legs, yet the 'cake’ was there and I couldn’t help myself. Some may say “But dude, this is not your job, just go have fun!” Problem is I put a lot of weight in the fun department on animating races. Moving that aside, literally, I mean that if I ain’t burning calories, I should probably avoid onboarding them. And yet my reach for the darkest, thickest, brownest, bubbliest ale usually wins that mental debate. Need to get stronger…

Again, I am sort of venting out loud here. I’m learning, like we all are, how to get it done and done right with a  body that is trying to fight you. For me, understanding how to navigate around and with an aging body and keeping it strong and fast is a huge experiment. One that I am enjoying learning about…as much as I enjoying chewing on tinfoil anyways.

Off to buy Depends and some stool softener. Ciao!

And along with seeing how it's done, an appreciation for the fine art of hand made sew-ups.

And even a cameo by the Michelin tread...

My main man Clément from Za Motherland and I were trading messages back and forth during the UCI at Kalmthout today. We both noticed Sven’s throw-back green he had glued on which began a Twitter-scrum guessing what he had glued to Dugast casing. Were they Vittorias? Michelins? If Michelins, were they the Jets? The Mud 2’s? Without further adieu, here they are in all of the green glory.

My main man Jaime Kripke does it again with this masterpiece of pain and suffering. 

Saturday Morning, USGP from jamie kripke on Vimeo.

‘Cross zoopa fan Dave Adams caught this awesome sequence (and many others!) of all the drama that goes on in an Elite pit…especially on a muddy day like this past Sunday at the Elite race in Bend. Here he caught Brandon coming in hot and the BCS crew nailing the swap. I’m already out of the pit going to wash the bike before Dubba’s even left it! Pro-style.

Prologue

The plan was simple: Stay smooth. Stay consistent. Keep moving forward. Your equipment is the best. You are a better bike handler than 99% of these guys. Just flow, race my race and go as hard as your under-tuned body can push you was my inner-chanted mantra. That, and stay out of the shit-show many riders would demonstrate given the conditions we faced. I was lined up 6th row…close enough to see the smiling faces of my brothers on the front line, Webber, Dubba, WB, Robson, Jonny C which gave me some hope and confidence. Yet turning around in the start grid seeing the masses lined up behind…some 17 or 18 rows deep…was daunting. 180+ riders in all. I have no idea what it would be like if the conditions were dry and fast. It would be a scoring nightmare as we had no ankle transmitters.

Friday - The Time Trial

The day before those that either were out of the top 8, did not do Nationals the year before or upgraded to a new age bracket could participate in a time trial to help seed your position. Any little advantage would help. I am a fast starter and while the TT course was well designed to challenge you, it felt pretty manageable to me. There was a beautiful and treacherous run up of ice and snow featured at the midway point, with fast and flowing trails leading to it and from it...trails which were a lot like what you’d experience short tracking. Leaders were doing it in about 6 to 6:15. I pre rode and felt fairly good. Legs were still a little under-whelming but I knew I could push through it. I pre-rode everything…twice mind you…with the exception of the very first section of the course…a critical mistake.

Three, two, one, go! I am off and Robson is yelling at me to stay smooth. The beginning threw a few paved 180’s at you and then immediately puts you into the dirt. I flow into a section super hot shortly after entering the dirt (e.g. unsmooth) that had a radically arced turn (that of course I missed by not pre-riding). I completely blow this corner  to the extent that I am off course, in the brush and off the bike. Being off your bike is not fast. I remount and start ‘er up again, pushing hard and find a rhythm. I hit the run up and find myself Mario De Clercq-ing up the run up ‘fast feet’ style, truly bounding up this thing. I complete the course including a set of barriers about 30 seconds off the winning time set by my boy Michael Robson to put me in 40th position, seconds separating riders 10 at a time.

Saturday - The Main Event - Men's Cat 1/2/3 40-44

My compatriots Dave Weber, Jeff Wardell and I were at the start line together. We were shivering, hopping up and down in the grid partly due to nerves, but mostly due to the conditions which were unlike anything I’d faced in the time I’ve been racing. It was a rain and snow squall alternating between the two every few minutes. Looking up into the sky was surreal. The Pacific Northwest was literally raining down snowflakes as big as golf balls. I’ve raced in all types of conditions: It’s been colder than hell racing here in Colorado, for sure. It’s rained on my races plenty of times for sure. But the combination of the two yesterday was such a vicious cocktail, racers would push themselves to new levels…insane levels…to finish and to say ‘they were there.’ We were, for all intents and purposes about to participate in the Woodstock of cycling folklore.

From the sound of the whistle the starting group blasted off the line. The paved start chute was a sea off slush, each riders wheel making a wake and massive frozen rooster tail into the riders faces behind them. It was a ‘pray-for-your-life’ scenario. You can see it all here, from the slush to the mass of humanity racing in the event as captured by Colt and crew. I come in to the first chute off the pavement in the first 40 riders or so (at 00:36…yes, Colt, this needs to be BlipSnippable!)

By lap three I have a brother with me in Jeff Wardell. I am feeling better, railing lines and generally feeling pretty motivated. Surprisingly I don't necessarily feel I am going backwards but gaining ground. Having Jeff there would be a great carrot. I know I was motivated as I could feel the cold but it wasn’t the most ‘present’ thing. Railing the lines were and I felt simply great on my Rhinos doing exactly that.

So as I am flowing with Jeff, an S & M guy and a DeSalvo guy attach to the group and we tractor-pull through a grassy slog which nearly everyone identified as a major leg sapper. This flowed out to a paved path that shot the riders up and over a pretty rad bermed embankment. On the paved lead up into the berm the S&M guy makes a move and we start to tangle bars. I yell at him ‘No! No! No!” as I feel we are both a second or two from hitting the deck. We untangle and he moves on yelling ‘Come on man! It’s racing!” To which I agree but if I could get that guy to see my season through my eyes and the desire to not end up on the ground (again) he’d appreciate the need for me to yell.

100 meters later we are all three shooting to the bermed embankment. S&M guy is through, then DeSalvo and I head in and up. There are two lines and he takes the low, me the high. We converge on the exit, now bombing down the embankment when DeSalvo guy comes unglued and yard-sales in front of me. I hit him t-bone square-on and go over him, his bike and onto the pavement.

I can’t believe it. I open up a cuss-fest and I jump back on and try to pedal and already hear/feel something wrong with me and the bike. Leg warmers are torn and my hip is shooting bullets at my brain. We head into the woods and the rear end of my bike starts making carnival-like noises. Some dude yells at me “Your derailleur's broken!” and I look down and sure enough it’s in the wheel. And so, my National Championship cross country running race begins.

I ran for minutes and minutes, even making some ground on dudes still trying to pedal who went out too hard too early who look like they were in the Bataan Death March. I could feel myself getting pinned from running but finally see the pit. I raise my hand to my dear friend Chris ‘Shotty’ Shotwell who is faithfully manning the pits in the freezing cold for me personally. The course lead up into the pits is painful. I am literally at a point where the pits are 10 feet away as the crow flies, but 100’s of feet away given the course I have to still run to get there. So frustrating as I can see Shotty prepared but it was a lifetime to get around the course. I eventually make it into the pit and toss in my wasted bike and Chris hands me the clean one.

And right there when I tossed in the bike, I had ‘that’ moment.

As I remount the clean bike, I could feel demoralized, gassed and simply shattered from this season. Every single thought ran through my head…the most prominent of which was ‘crawl off’. I am tired of sucking. Tired of complaining. Tired of lots of things. I was hurt and for the next few minutes as I eventually pedaled on truly questioned what I am doing and why (on many levels). It was short lived thankfully. I just sucked up the fact that I simply am not fast and I will work harder next year if I can find the focus in my life to devote to it wholly.

As I come through on the bell lap, my spirits lift a bit. Dave Towle sees me and cheers me on over the course P/A system which made me smile. He also was calling out the fact that my dear friends and team mates Pete Webber and Brandon Dwight were pushing hard at the front with our Colorado compatriot Jon Cariveau murdering himself behind Brandon by mere seconds. I knew even with my running race I had made it into the bell lap safely. That fact and the fact my boys were flying ahead of me and Colorado was slaying the field. My mood went from piss poor to pretty incredible in a matter of pedal strokes.

The elation aside, the suffering on the bell lap was incredible. I barely realized I crossed the finish when I eventually came through 7minutes down on Za Webber in an illustrious 70th place and just kept pedaling and circled back to our tent where we all sat and began our bouts with hypothermia. Webber, Brandon, Ward Baker…we all were in an extremely bad way. Friends were piling in to the tent to literally begin to rescue us as it became pretty scary. Uncontrollable shaking, lips turning blue, no motor coordination, completely slurred speech. It truly was happening and we were going hypothermic. I had the Hogan family (Karen and Mike) on me. Each tearing off clothes, boots, helmets, base liners. Mike literally had to get me naked and wrapped in blankets. I had enough focus to ensure he know I was having a Seinfeld-esque ‘Shrinkage!” moment when I was naked. We then all got corralled into the Moots Sprinter van, its heater blaring we all sat inside and literally on each other unable to hold in our hands the amazing warm treats the Hogans and others were bringing. Literally shaking so bad that the coffee could not be brought to one’s mouth.

Thank you Mike, Karen and EVERYONE who helped us after the race.

The Exhale

After warming up from our near-hypothermic experiences on Saturday, we proceeded to watch the remaining races and I prepared for my role as pit crew chief for Brandon and Pete in the Elite Men’s race the next day by downing a gaggle of Deschutes Porter. Time to let go a little I guess. There were some amazing spectacles to watch from Danny Summerhill’s win in his last U23 performance, to Matt Pacocha and Jon Baker’s age group wins. All fellow Wednesday Worlds compatriots. (Side note, we’ve got to erect some sort of trophy wall at Elks given that one park has produced a number of National Champions. Amazing.)

Sunday’s races would be raced in almost balmy conditions compared to the day prior. Sunny yet still super wet. I was able to pit with good friends Dan Farrell and Dave Weber out in shirt sleeves. It was a muddy mess but simply great to be outside in. Dan and I had Brandon and Pete’s bikes dialed and ready for action while other Coloradan’s tended to our other teammate Allen Krughoff’s pit services.

We had a great time, sharing lanes with Mr. ATMO himself, Richard Sachs and our friends from KCCX. I think I saw a bloody shard of my vocal chords pop out of my mouth I was yelling so hard at Boulder Cycle Sport and all Coloradans to keep their mojo and their tempo high. Frankly any racing mope that came within site of me got yelled at to motivate them.

Pete, Allen and Brandon all had unbelievable rides…Brandon starting literally from the very last row to a 24th place finish, Pete 20th and Allen Krughoff right in front of him at 19th. Just amazing to see this especially after Brandon and Pete’s insane battle at the front of our race yesterday.  It is amazing to see how being smooth and consistent keeps moving you up and up and up. That’s the game and these guys are absolute masters of it. Not sure if I’ll ever get it.

Epilogue

The weekend was capped off with an epic after party on Sunday. Each year it’s like a reunion. I’m in desperate love with the spirits that inhabit our sport, from the comedic to the serious to the God-gifted. We suffer so greatly together that so much is just understood without speaking about it between us…from an Elite Champion to a Cat 4 newbie to the sport. The conversations I had at the Summit Bar with my friends…both old and new…were amazing. These conversations had a theme and I was truly 'hearing’ what was being said. While the words were flowing in to my brain, I’m balancing them with my thrashing uncertainty of where  ‘am’ in this sport. "What is my place in this sport I love?" proverbially speaking. I won’t be a National Champion in the Elites…likely never in my age group. I am confused at what fast means and how to get there even after 14 years of racing this insane sport. What I do know is that I love it and those that stopped me that evening and put a hand on my shoulder to simply say ‘thanks for writing’ meant so so much to me. They were the words I needed to parse and balance with everything else pinging around my brain these days. I was able to 'hear' them. Truly.

It’s odd, I want to write about crushing the competition and having arms up again and being some sort of alpha-winner. At least that is a part of the vision I thought I should have. Winning and personal bests will happen again some day when I can devote what I need to, to it. But maybe that is not my ‘role.’ Maybe it is about expressing the need to just keep going. To not extract yourself and take your toys home because an aspect of your goals like winning or “personal best” is met unfulfilled. It’s so frustrating, yet the sport is 360 degrees around us. It’s the people, the courses, the equipment and nerdery around it. It’s the ability to get over embarrassment and embrace failure. It’s the need to know you’re doing this because you love it…and where would you be in life without it.

My life is what it is because of cyclocross. And it is beautiful. And that is not an embellishment.

I will try again next year to be better if life will have it. To fly. To have my legs feel supple and fluid again. The leaves are off the trees now and flowing in the heavy breezes that mark our winter here in Colorado. And before we know it they will be changing colors again. You are my anchor, cyclocross.