It's got to be this way...this level of here there here there here there here...

I long for stretches of dependable stability, but that is not in the radar for what seems like the long term when I see what is in front of me. Which is OK and often exciting when your core believes in it. So, as my broken record seems to keep skipping, the deck of the ship is tossing about again violently and it's going to have to be faced.

It all comes down to priorities. When you shut your eyes and envision what you want...what appears? Are you on the top of a podium? Is that podium your race? Your pile of gold? Your heap of beautiful memories? My young family as you all read is with me on my top step, at the top with me of everything when my eyes are closed tight and I'm envisioning....and driving to do what's right to achieve that. My 'cross helps me get out the demons and ensures that health and drive for everything I love and what's important keeps my mind sharp to remember how to stay focused on that vision. It's a model I repeat weekend after weekend teaching me...or reminding me...how to continue driving. Acquiescence is the rule of the day which goes against my nature. I need to pull emotionally back and retreat from the fact that I am away for a week on end...or days in the middle of weeks...and that I can do only exactly what I can do. But I never, ever, categorically run or hide. I'd never compromise the core of the priorities I hold tight to when I see those I use as my example of what not to be continue to sweat and crumble and manipulate the slippery slope in such predictable and cliche'd fashion. So, for now, I pull back and smile and wait. Bottling it.

Home. Minutes away. I'll be home soon my family.

Photo by Blue Sky Velo's Ernest Schimpf

CrossVegas TV Program Broadcast Dates Announced

Premieres Saturday October 25th

October 20 (Boulder Colo.) Broadcast dates for the TV coverage of CrossVegas, the international cyclocross race held September 24^th in Las Vegas, have been announced. The program airs on Altitude Sports and Entertainment Network.

Viewers outside of Altitude’s 10 state region can find the program on DirecTV as well as Dish Network in select areas. Additional airings of CrossVegas will be available on other networks to be announced in the next few weeks.

6-time Emmy awarding winning producer Kent Gordis of Kent Gordis Productions produced the 30-minute program. Gordis is the owner/producer of Kent Gordis Productions, the leading producer of bicycle races on television in the U.S. His production credits include eight Olympic Games, six Tours de France and multiple other events.

In its second year CrossVegas has become a fixture on the U.S. cyclocross calendar attracting over 7,500 spectators to the stadium setting of Desert Breeze Soccer Complex in Las Vegas. Held in the evening under the stars, CrossVegas was won for a second year by Ryan Trebon of the U.S. after an exciting 60 minutes of racing that included multiple lead changes among a field of U.S and international stars including Lance Armstrong participating in his first race since announcing his return to competitive cycling.

The 40-minute women’s race was won by Katie Compton of the U.S. The former World Cyclocross silver medalist used her superior strength to pull away from a strong field that included Olympians from the recent Beijing Games.

About Altitude Sports and Entertainment Network

Altitude Sports & Entertainment is available in a 10-state region that includes all or parts of: Colorado, Idaho, Kansas, Montana, Nebraska, New Mexico, Nevada, South Dakota, Wyoming, and Utah.

Select Altitude programming is available nationwide on Dish Network and DirecTV satellite services. Complete information at: www.altitude.tv

About Cross Partners LLC

Cross Partners LLC is a Boulder Colorado based group headed by Chris Grealish and Brook Watts that stages international cyclocross events including CrossVegas. The team has a combined 40 years experience creating and managing cyclocross events at every level. Complete information at: www.crossvegas.com

Mark Woolcott was out in force yesterday as well, with his bandoleer of cameras and light meters to capture all our saliva dripping mugs. Have a look at his gallery and buy some photos! Help out the photogs!!

So my boy Dave Hixson was out there racing and then filming the action! He threw together a great video of the 35 Opens and 3's and we put it up on my Vimeo account. Lots of Boulder Cycle Sport and Rocky Mounts action! All in all great days for both the squads I must say!!

Check it:

BlueSky Velo Xilinx Classic from Gregory Keller on Vimeo.

The PRO photographers were out in force yesterday! As he was last week, Rob O'Dea was out with his gaggle of cameras on random parts of the course popping strobes and catching your smiling mugs in full flight. Click the image below to take you to his collection of Cat 3, 4, Open Women and Open Men.

OK. Where to begin? A zillion excuses could easily come out of my unworthy mouth (as I type this post with one hand...ha!) but truly none that I'd even dare insult you with. Bad strategy, bad form, bad technique...it all added up to an unbelievably hard day at Xilinx for the Blue Sky 'Cross Race. But this I will tell you: I am STILL so worked from this afternoon, I clearly left my spleen out there. Literally not wanting to say anything to anyone after the race I hurt so bad and escaped to my car where I sat in its open tailgate...and started to dry heave. Awesome day.

First a note about Blue Sky and the event. Core. I felt at home in some sort of weird way. OK, not weird as much as comforted. I've raced courses at Xilinx a zillion times over the years. Theirs was flat out hard. Challenging everything about my crossy-ness from it's 2.1 mile lap to its nasty climb on the back side to the seemingly 24" high barriers. The Blue Sky folks challenged you to be good. I failed today. The scene was unbelievable. USGP -style amenities and nearly the fields. Still only 600+ racers compared to our brethren in PDX putting up 1200+ racer numbers weekend after weekend. A special note about Rob Love (owner/proprietor of Blue Sky). Capital 'C' Core. Rob, you do so much for the sport and community, we need a sculpture of your bust on the Pearl Street Mall. Ha! But seriously, thanks for motivating your team as the support and organization was obvious and super dialed. And especially Dan Farrell who is the crossiest of the crossy. Pained face, white shoes, matching Ridley and all. I thank you all for your support.

OK, already, so the race. Call ups occurred today and my ass was still in the top 10. 20 were called and my 9th place got me in the front row (we'll see where I am after today, ahem...). All the gang was there except for Timmy who has family in town and homie knows his priorities. The WB Ward Baker was back from vacation and we were even blessed with Boups today doing a warm up in the 35 A's for his Open race later. So bottom line the 50+ starting would be throw down-ish for sure.

Waiting in the queue for the gun, I had to pull a funny ha ha and I yelled 'GO!' and you should have seen the jumps! HA! I though Hogan was gonna soil his chamois! Ha! Sorry bud! Eventually Al, our ACA official counted down and whistled the start.

The start was a long-ass uphill drag on pavement through the Start/Finish and apexed down hill before hitting the grass. My goal for the day was simple...and ultimately stupid: Win the hole shot (which I did) keep tempo for the first lap or two (which I did and won the 1st lap prime), split a group off of what I knew would be the strongest 10 (which I did) and sit in and work amongst them to try and do something on the day (which I DID NOT).

After lap two Dennis Farrel came by and as an experienced bike racer, worked me like his red-headed step child up the long drag on the back side. I turned around and looked at the WB to come through which my home boy did. This essentially stayed that way through lap 2.5 where Pete Webber, my team mate, came through and he yelled at me to stay on. I turned myself inside out to stay in and managed another 1/2 lap like this and started to unravel a bit. Phenecie and a flurry of others came through including the Spike Team armada.I'd eventually take some of the Spike guys back but Chuck Coyle and Jared would get the best of me today. I finally was able to sit on on this group and get the deep breaths cycled through I longed for. By lap 4 (of 6) I just felt awful...like the kind of awful that has you seriously doubting our ability to keep the "valve covers" in place...on both ends if you know what I mean. It's been a REALLY long time since I felt that type of race-induced sickness. It was hot out (75+) and I just felt absolutely uncomfortable the whole time. Oh, yeah, this is Cross. I forgot. You're supposed to feel that way.

By lap 5 I am in the top 10 maybe 11...and honestly saying to myself: "...smooth, that's all boy. Just be smooth and get home. Bell lap next. Just hang in and you're golden." Lots of drama is meanwhile going on at this time as well. The WB burped a Hutchinson and leaked its air, changed bikes and STILL bridged up to me and over took me for an eventual top 10. Nice work boy, seriously. As he comes past me in lap 5, he brings my other team mate Brian Hludinski up to me and he too is inspiring me to stay on. We make it to the barriers, and burn through and I commit the sins of ALL sins: I frigging clipped one of the tripple barriers with my cleat and completely yard-saled. I am absolutely serious when I say I did a FULL somersault (ask Joe D) and sat there. Specialzed S Works helmet mangled and I am just stunned. I work SO HARD on technique...train it to 100's of people and I came apart!!! Exhaustion and total lack of focus and WHA-BOOM! On the ground. I immediately have this HUGE blue ball of a hemotoma on my hand and it's hard to shift and brake. I have to shift my helmet around as it's nearly backwards. I am shell shocked and try to focus and get beck to flow. 2 dudes pass. I am getting deeper into the suffer cave. 3 more dudes pass as we go through for the bell lap as I can not keep it together. Suffering. I am thinking "this is frigging bad. You should be EMBARRASSED!!!" I make it through the wooded sections in a pack of 4. I drop 2 of them on the run up with the barriers and we get back to the pavement onto the start/finish area. Just another climb up the hill and I am done....yet I am with a guy. He fumbles momentarily and I just drop my SRAM Red into the 42x12 and hammer as hard as all get up and win the sprint....for 15th place! Ha! Joy. Hard, hard, hard.

After the sprint, I started to feel sick...I mean the true sick like the stomach upside down kind. People slapping my back saying good race...wanting to talk, etc. I just had to escape. So I rolled down to the car and as mentioned, had the dry heaves as I sat there in the back of the wagon. THAT is a day of cross....

The day's silver linings:

• Hearing my name multiple times every lap from the best fans. SO COOL! It is SO INSPIRING you guys. I am trying like all get up out there and when you yell that stuff, I go that extra bit deeper.
  
• Dave Towle's commentary. He was RIPPING out the race call action today and Dave., you too I appreciate as you rally the fans and racers up like none other.
  
• Cody O: Great to meet you today man!
• Rolling my Dugast on my B bike during warm up and not having it tear....Then again, Challenge tires are a-callin' me!
  
• My homeboy and team mate Pete Webber took the flowers with an impressive display of patience and eventual power. Wish I could say I helped you man!
• Not actually yacking.
  

Those remaining seconds before the start...
Photo Bill Teasdale Family

Note the BAD FORM! Seat in armpit.. For shame.
Photo Sally Keefe

Pete Webber on the way to a stellar "W"
Photo Sally Keefe

Webber ripping it...
Photo Sally Keefe

Hup. I only give myself one hup today.
Photo George Scott

I think I can, I think I....
Photo George Scott

Cross. I love her so.
Photo George Scott

See you folks sometime next week. Bloody UK is calling me for some business for the week. Adios!

Race Summary:

Photo compliments of Photopress.be

I am FINALLY at a point where CafePress has cut me a check and I can buy a brick on all your your behalf!! The list of honorable donors is as follows. Hug yourself as you've helped push Valmont Bike Park financially...and for many of you on this list, emotionally and physically!

The universe of cyclists thanks you!!

Coasting through life can be easy. Will it be as fruitful as a life lived? I dunno. I really don't and choose not to care about that path as I can't accept free-wheeling. I need the chain taut at all times. It's only this way that the teeter totter can maintain the balance that is so required for the mind to be at peace.

As it doesn't rest.

Doors opened today. Feelings felt that haven't been explored in...well a long time. I flicked dominoes earlier this year to do what I thought, and still believe, will create new chapters in life that ensure smiles. A firm belief in no accidents, just opportunities.

I want to raise my arms above my head again and look up at the sun and exhale that breath that has been inside for so long...you know the one that when released, is like a purge of the soul and in its void is that shimmering feeling of happiness in the middle of your chest. Relief. If you think I am speaking about winning a bike race, nah, this is better. It's about belief in one's self for something bigger.

There are no accidents. Can't be. Only what you make life to be when you keep the pedals turning and the chain taut.

Come help design the gravity sections of the VBP! Learn more at the Valmont Bike Park Blog!