I don't know where to begin. Insane jealousy maybe at his ability to capture what we all see and feel in still and moving celluloid as cyclocrossers. Or maybe it's his ability to keep focused on the true core of who we are, what we do and most importantly why we do it weekend in and out. I'm speaking about Brian Vernor, photographer, videographer and historian of what will become 'our time' in cyclocross here in the United States.

In 2005 I was invited to see a debut of his movie here in Boulder, only a year after I'd left the Bay Area. What I saw was...well...a big part of my life actually. Pure Sweet Hell, Brian's break through movie captured so much of our 2003 racing season in beautiful film, it's a special keepsake for me. Seeing how Brian has evolved both in video and in his amazing still photography blows me away...shot quite often without all the fan-dangled digital apparatus that hacks like me rely upon. Instead Brian relies upon methods from yesteryear with good old film and true artistry in knowing how to operate f-stops, aperture and lighting.

At the 'cross Nationals in Bend in December, folks will be lining up to see the debut of his new movie, The Cyclocross Meeting. It will be obvious after seeing it how Brian will help you relive what we do and why we do it. I wanted most importantly to give people a better lens into Brian and what he does for our sport. I've also peppered the post with some imagery from Brian to whet your appetites.And without further adieu, Five Questions With: Brian Vernor.

1) Brian, you are a crosser and only a crosser can appreciate the depths we go through in our minds bodies and souls on any given weekend. Your media reflects this (photos and video). Tell me about how you got into 'cross, those that inspired you and what you love about our sport.

Growing up in Santa Cruz, CA I was exposed to mountain biking very young. Since my friend Justin Robinson was racing (on the Yeti Cycles team), I learned about racing, and this extended to cyclocross with the Surf City CX Series (the longest continually running series in the US). Some of the first races I attended were only two blocks from my house, so it seemed like not that much effort to do it in the first place. When something is accessible like that you don’t have to justify it with great ambitions, you just do it because if you weren’t racing you’d be riding some trails anyway. I think races were $8 for juniors. This was 1993. I went to the Nationals that year as a junior, in Tuolumne, CA, and I saw one of the greatest last lap battles in US cross nats history, which was between Don Myrah and Peter Webber. There were only about a hundred people watching but still there was so much energy following that race. Having that public display of suffering and potential failure is a huge part of the racing for me. I don’t get nearly as excited for forms of racing where the individual racer’s breaking point is not absolutely going to be witnessed.

2) Your Pure Sweet Hell was a break through for our family of crossers. It was perfect (and so much of our racing in Santa Cruz/Bay Area was captured in 2003 in that film! Such great memories!). Tell us about that film and the struggle to put it together. The results are astounding...but the path there was invariably hard. What were your greatest challenges?

Pure Sweet Hell was only a struggle to make once the heart of the editing was happening. Until that point I had never made a film over five minutes in length, and assembling a film about something we cared so much about was painful. I just pictured it failing so many times. The worst would have been people just shrugging and not really caring about it. Some people have pretty strong opinions about PSH which is the best way to have it, whether they are good or bad opinions doesn’t really matter because there are both perspectives out there. When we started filming we had a totally lame idea of what the film would be (kind of Hoop Dreams on bikes), and if there was a struggle, it was in finding a way to make only what mattered to us come through in the film. It is really not easier now than it was then, though now I have a little less anxiety about not finding the way.

3) Your eye captures inexplicable beauty...frozen in time...for us all to appreciate and smile about. What to you prefer most? Shooting still or shooting motion?

That is really strong praise, thank you. I like when I succeed at accomplishing my own standard of beauty, whether with stills or motion. Both formats I use hoping to achieve a similar result depending on what is appropriate. I’m not a gear-head, the equipment is not enjoyable in and of itself, so I have to care about the communication that is the result of the image.

4) Tell us about the Bay Area 'cross scene. The mafia out there is so core (and I miss them dearly!). Rick Hunter, Paul Sadoff, Justin Robinson...so many! What encapsulates the Bay Area cross scene in a paragraph?

The Northern California cross scene is stubborn. There are very strong ties to and awareness of the history of the sport here. There is a reluctance to accept a new direction defined from outside this region. That means our races are focused on the atmosphere as much as the racing, and the ideal is founded on our past and present community, not some inflated view of Belgium, or Eurocross, or something the racing here never was or will be. The racing in Europe is amazing and the character of the race scene is unique from the US. That is a good thing. I think it is fine that cross develops in unique ways in each region. As a documenter I want to be honest about what those unique qualities are and focus on them. The guy wearing Belgian blue, eating frites and drinking a Chimay is not that interesting to me unless I’m in Middlekerke, Belgium.

Northern California promoters have given the middle finger to USA Cycling and I don’t see anyone here anxious to jump into the UCI affiliated races game, but it will happen again due to a sense of responsibility to the regional racers with national ambitions. I do think this would be good for our community regardless of the hassles.

5) Everyone is amped to see "The Cyclocross Meeting" in Bend at Nats! Newt and Wicks get their (more than) 15 minutes in this one. What a unique vantage point to take...'crossing in Japan. Tell us about this movie and what the greatest challenges were in making it. And what was the craziest thing you saw in Japan (besides anyone rocking SRAM...).

The Cyclocross Meeting is about expanding your own community via cyclocross. It is amazing that we can go to Japan and find that we are passionate about the same thing as people we’ve never met, and who come
from a completely different reference point. I mean, we’re so lucky that we’re involved in something that universally brings joy to people. That said, it’s also about going really fast. I wanted to mostly focus on Elite racing, both as an update of where the US scene is at the highest level, and then as a comparison to an emerging scene. Pure Sweet Hell was about the whole scene, pro and amateur, and I didn’t want to show the same thing. I also find that really fast people are much more compelling to watch, unless a slow rider is crashing, puking, or trying to drink a beer while running in ankle deep mud (I’m sure someone is filming SSWCCX).

Japan is a crazy experience the moment you leave the airport. To see an industrialized country with such different priorities of space compared to our own to inspiring. It is very isolated in some ways while also obsessively studying outside cultures, but Japan does everything it’s own way. Respect.

What's stopping you? For me, it's TRP EuroX magnesiums of course. Furthermore, just how passionate do you think you are about 'cross? For me, it's an everyday religious experience. But for Über-Welder Matty P, it's indelible. As in a forever reminder. As in, homie's inked himself to remind him of how important 'cross is...or at least braking (although some would say if you're using brakes, you're going backwards....just don't tell Matty that yet. The shit's still wet!).

Matty, here's to you man. You've got a 'set' for sure. Hup hup!

(P.S. I reccomend the yellow compound SwisStops. Like buttah.)

I don't even know where to begin with this...with the exception that I now truly know 'cross is universal! Truly global.  From Portland to Diegem and on to [CLASSIFIED CITY], Iraq. We all love it so. And so how this all came to be? Let me tell ya...

I get an amazing amount of emails a day from readers. It still blows me away. I try to answer every single one as this is one giant brother/sister hood of folks who simply want to play in the mud. You have to keep up those connections, yo! Keep on sending 'em!!

And so it was with Mr. Norton. Lance Corporal John Norton, United States Marine Corps. A simple email to talk about cross equipment, frames, tires...all the goodness. And of course we got our geek on in an exchange of great e-mails between he and I. At some point it occurred to me: this home boy is in the service. And a few exchanges later, John is in I-R-A-Q!!!! And so, without haste, a package was bundled up and shipped to John as I wanted him to have a bit of U.S. cross love surrounding him. A little of the hup hup for a guy who is clearly no buttercup. And with that in mind I was impulsed to do a '5 Questions With...' episode with our crossing brethren. The following is a unclassified and unaltered set of answers from John, and I am so proud to have had this exchange with him to share with you all. 

John, just know we are thinking about you and your fellow Marines over there. Get back home. Stay healthy. And cross on. We'll try and keep ya entertained!

1) LCpl Norton! Welcome to Mud and Cowbells man! First, know that this entire M & C community is super proud of you and want you safe and home soon to tear it up on the 'cross bike! But first, tell us a bit about you and your job in Iraq!
Hayo the BIG question, what do I do? Besides sleep, eat, sleep and eat, I am truck (MRAP) gunner,  I have the best seat in the house, paired up with my second wife a beautiful M2 named Betty for when shit gets hot. Our mission is to ROLL DEEP and provide security on the streets of Iraq from point A to point B, while at the same time making sure the package does not get jacked up or lost and time to time scare the living shit out of people who want to fuck with us. Nothing like a loaded M2 pointed at your dome.

2) That is some SICK lightweight ride you've got there in that picture you sent me. Kidding (you can pummel me when you see me). Tell us about your 'cross ride here in the States. I 'hear' through the grapevines (even all the way from Iraq) that something new and scandium is coming to you. Do tell...
If I tell you, I might just have to kill you! I do not know who your informant is but their time is short. I will be rocking a sexy Rock Lobster Team Scandium steed.

3) What's the deal with training, man? Can you jump on that trusty steed and get some hot laps in when you're not on duty? Do you need to moto-pace behind a Hum-V?
That trusty steed is more like a death trap, I think it would do more use as a battering ram! I’m going to pour lighter fluid all over it and ride it for a sick photo op. Training: It all starts with an Oreo Sand Protein Shake, let me explain the steps. Take one complete row of double stuff Oreos, two 32oz G-rade packets, one scoop of muscle milk, and a bottle of water, mix it up and BANG! Oreo Sand Protein Shake. For the daily train it is up to my body, but I do anything from 3 - 4 mile runs,  push-ups, pull-ups, life fitness machine, and variations of core workouts.

4) Any chance that "Hup Hup, buttercup" could replace the primal "hoo-rah!" of the Marine? Who do I need to send a shirt to up the chain of command?
I would love to say thank you in advance. Some folks have started to call me buttercup! I think the “Hup Hup, buttercup” as a war chant sounds much more intimidating, as I pass little Iraqi children and grown-ups a like I will shout “Hup Hup, buttercup.Now go and check out mudandcowbells.com biatch!"

5) Bart Wellens or Sven Nys? C'mon Norton! Who's your guy?
Sven Nys of course! 

These are days that I want you to remember my sweet boys. Even if you don't understand it all completely, I'd just love for you to remember...or at least recall with fondness these days we are living right now.

If you read this some day Aiden and Seamus, know that I started this all for you. This writing and this admittedly pedestrian 'soul searching'. But at it's core, it's to help you remember me.

When he left me, it was all I could do to try and remember the instances...the treasures of memories I know were in this head of mine. Closing my eyes tight and trying to 'squeeze' my brain to uncover them just doesn't seem to work any longer although the indelible ones remain: When he held me in desperate fear as I couldn't help myself form crying as my brother left the house...never to 'truly' be seen again. When he came home from Amsterdam, exhausted from his business trip, with a toy motorcycle. When he brought me to buy my first bike. But I can't crack through any more walled synapses to seek more memories. They are fleeting. I have nothing to help spark memories. And so I write this all for you.

These are days. I am struggling and coping and pushing as hard as I ever have. This new job has me thinking like a twenty something again. Like I used to think when I "created." I refuse to yield to anything but joy and self discipline on my bike as each season of the changing leaves seems to speed up year after year. I want to be faster. More fluid. More inspiring to guys like me. Balancing all this while trying to be the husband to my wife I know I can be...as she inspires me to do all of this while grounding me with her smile that I am doing right by us. I pray I am doing right by her for what she needs as she evolves. We are all growing.

These are days that I wish for you to remember, boys. I have no desires or expectations in you...save for grace and pride in who you are and what we are building as a family. Well, I do have an expectation then. That you re-instill this passion for life in the family that you create. That every day is something unique...and if you can't see that or believe it, then you're not making it unique. And that you are gifted with knowledge in realizing this...and course correcting to make it so.

These are...days.

This made my Sunday morning. Check the 'ol e-mail and I see a note from one of my dear friends, Scott, with this picture attached. He just railed out the Louisville Ionman. Now, while I personally sink when I enter water, I am impressed with anyone who can manage nailing out an Ironman without having one of those moments where all systems come apart....body mind and spirit crushed until you turn into Colonel Kurtz somewhere in mile 20 of the last lag of the 26.2. 

Anyways, Scott's a hard man from the KY and I am proud of him and his whole family supporting him. 

Scott, you're no buttercup. 

Aspen 'crosser Thomas Hayles I was told this AM was in an incredibly bad crash at the Salida State Road Championships last weekend and unfortunately sustained serious injuries. I know very little at this stage a week later but know he's in a Denver hospital recovering after being airlifted there for specific treatment.

Tom was one of the first Americans to go overseas and race competitively and learned the ins and outs....bringing a lot of that knowledge back to the US winning nationals championships in 'cross over the years in his age group. He's here right behind me in Gunnison a season or two ago.

Keep him in your thoughts. Crossers are tough as shit.

A right of passage every August for a decade. The cyclocross practice drills begin in these doggishly hot days of summer. The tender wussiness of my collarbone blossoms into a sort of violet hue as I repeat the motion...

Bike on, bike off. Bike on, bike off. Bike on, bike off.

Over and over again. I love it. The kids think I am crazy as I do this stuff after work in the driveway as they play nearby.

Bike on, bike off. Bike on, bike off. Bike on, bike off.

But it's here. The season's falling fast upon us. The chatter is loud over the interwebs about people's cross dreams...

Better season. Improvement. Smoother. More fun. Go to Nationals. Trying tubulars. Lighter bike. Losing weight. Buying cowbells. Wife's first season. Kids first season.

All these are plucked from threads I've read. The wave is here. The frequency is fever pitched and the leaves haven't even begun to think about their transition yet. I love so much how my body feels when I ask it to remount and my foot finds pedal. I will never, ever be old with that feeling.

Rush. That's right. Canada's finest export. And whenever you envision me riding my little commuter to work, coffee in hand, you just put this little ditty in your head. Working man. That's what they call me. OK, 'they' is me. And maybe my kids. But I digress...

So on that subject I've had a zillion emails saying 'Keller! Whatup!? How's the new gig? What are you doing? What is Lijit? First, MAD props and thanks for all the well wishes and questions. It's been a whirlwind couple of weeks, but I am finally starting to get those feelings back again...feelings that I had AGES ago when I controlled the destiny of software and turned nothing...or at a minimum, opaque ideas...into real tangible stuff that made real people happy and productive. All with kick ass engineers and coffee.

It's happening again. I can feels it!

OK, exhale.

So what's all this Lijit hubub? Let me kinda break it down this way:

We do search. But search with people and their trusted relationships at the core of the technology. So, taking a step back, and super generally speaking, the interwebs are are basically a 'web' of pipes (TCP/IP) with 'walls' at the end of each pipe (web pages/html/data, etc). Large search engines essentially crawl the web, day and night, cataloguing all those pages...all that content...all the finite changes...and lastly the frequency that those pages are 'hit'. So, when you search for a term, the results you see first are basically there because lots of people (you do not know) may have looked at the page or site for various reasons.

But, are the results contextually relevant to you? Possibly, yes....but very often no. Think about it: so often you need to dig 3, 4, 5 or more pages in of results until 'voila', a relevant answer/result. An example is something like searching for 'Grocery Stores + Boulder'. We're a bunch of hippies here in the Bubble so keep that 'in context' for the moment. The first thing that comes back is some giant food store chain. Not relevant to me. Would never go there. Why? They're not green enough, not organic enough, not....hippy...enough (remember?). But, if I search my graph of friends for the same data, suddenly I can see a trusted array of answers leading me to places relevant to me...like Sunflower Market or Whole Foods, etc. Twitter streams, Flickr photos, FaceBook posts etc...all from my 'trusted graph' of contacts led me to the answer. Not a machine's 'caching' of the page ranks so to speak.

Now, take a look to the right of my blog. That's it...right, THERE! Upper right corner in the sidebar. That is essentially the 'portal' you as my reader need in order to tap into me and my 'trusted network'. That is the most well known 'face' of Lijit at the moment. Likely, if you're reading this here blog, we've got stuff in common and you can trust me (hopefully). You can search anonymously, see what my network and I say about your desired topic, etc etc. Sort of like this:

That's you in the suit. Ha! That's me (I'm Elvis...and I'm back in the building) and one of my network connections Micah (among many many others). You've input a search term and poof, you get results back in various forms...all to give you a contextually relevant 'edge' on what my network has to say (or visualize in pictures, etc) about your query. You may search me for bikes and get the typical data back you'd expect from me, but say you searched me for 'pets' or 'dogs'. Then you'd see data from me and Micah and others in my graph on the furry four legged friends. Anything we'd written, taken photos of, tweeted about, etc etc. Again, trusted network and hopefully relevant to you as well. Maybe you'd then be inspired to 'connect' to us, through Lijit or maybe FaceBook or other social means. Works great when geography separates us yet we truly share so much in common.

So the technology is maddeningly interesting to work on. 10's of 1000's now use our technology and we've graphed/cached 100's of millions of page views of info. And I get to work on pushing the platform and products into new places. Exciting frontiers that can help real people relate to other real people. Real brands do a better job of finding their right audience. Always evangelizing the publisher to help readers interact with more...and with more relevance and context to them (you in this case!).

So there it is, mostly. I wake up with the (good) nervous pit in the stomach to push and create and inspire. It's early, but I feel the same way I did in the mid 90's when everything was possible. SO, rhetoric aside, I'm stoked and have LOTS of work to do...thus the blogging absence.

But I'm STILL riding! Ha!

1.5 months until the sport of the changing leaves engulfs us all. I haven't lost focus on that either...

Time to take stock and pan the head rearwards, to see what’s been done, and then pan forwards and plan for what’s ahead. It’s been a couple-of months since my Freedom Face was exposed and lots has been done and experienced during this period: My family and I circled wagons in Mexico to celebrate; Face time with prospective ‘next chapter’ gigs measured in XX numbers of hours invested meeting with boards, staff...building trust and opening channels; Setting up an LLC; Rides that have left me healthy and happy.

I’ve learned to structure my days into distinctive segments:

• Early AM is Social Networking Time. Peer into my graph’s doings and happenings and respond. Blog, think bikes for a bit and write about it.
• Early AM then blends into a ride to stimulate my senses, see our insane surroundings here in Boulder and commune. Recharge. As you all know, the mountain bike has called me and I am listening. The trees are speaking to me loudly these days.
• Mid day is all about technology projects. e.g. the stuff I am scheming over that I’d like to see built, working on projects with friends who need a trusted set of eyes on what they’re building and finally moving towards things that are exciting here in Boulder’s unbelievable technology community.
• Evening….before I know it, my boys are all up in my grill and we go and have some serious play before we need to cram some dinner in our gullets.

I’ll look back on this schedule and these days as something remarkable. The recession is very real. Many of you feel it. But hope and promise…and massive doses of patience…are what I need and my wife is constantly re-enforcing to me when the days seem pretty bleak. The work being put in in this period of massive transition is very real. The connections, the new technology landscapes, the networking on all levels. It’s fun…and the timing of the market correction will intersect with the groundwork I am laying.

Or so I lie in bed and construct scenarios to ensure this is realized.

I don’t know where many of you are at these days, but patience and the prospect of timing are all lessons being learned. That and the faith I’ve put into who I am and the relationships I’ve built. It truly is all that you have. Literally ALL that you have on this earth. Everything else is an accoutrement.

Patience grasshoppah.

These are interesting times for me. The normal grip I have on my life, controlling all aspects, is seemingly covered in grease. Defying my ‘order’ to remain in control and obey my command. The harder I squeeze, the less I can retain control of and slip. But I need to listen. I always need to remind my self of that. Understand how to solve the slipperiness for the solution is there.

All three sides are imbalanced as of late but I will right this ship. I have always checked bravado and ego and now it seems I need to check it even deeper. Pushing forward on career fronts is slow and even while I remain excited about things to come, the horizon seems to push itself out every day a little bit farther. Or stays positioned in the exact same place every day which makes it impossible for me to see my progress, or my regress.

What this does to the mind is troubling. Nothing tastes sweet as the stress from my core seems to strip away anything worth tasting. My parenting suffers. My being the best husband and making my wife laugh often suffers. My ability to stay focused…or just have fun…on the bike suffers.

But this will pass and I will succeed.

I am taking a breath, cycling the rich air through my lungs. Fortunately, it is this air that I can taste. It is sweet. I am alive.